Although we accept that all other goals and roles in life will involve work and effort, it is often our most important relationships that become the most neglected and deprioritized. Like a muscle that hasn’t been used or exercised, a relationship will wilt and atrophy without attention and effort. Research clearly demonstrates the relationship between marital satisfaction and overall well-being, health and happiness. Conversely, negative life outcomes are associated with marital discord or even single status. We utilize structured, evidence-based strategies to equip couples with the concrete skills, relational insights and actionable plans that will lead to the quickest therapeutic gains. We will continue to work with couples to address the “deep tissue” issues related to such factors as unhealed trauma but will individualize approaches to the preferences, needs and motivations of our clients.

 One of the most painful experiences in life is that caused by deteriorating relationships with our romantic partners.   You may be experiencing the loss of intimacy or closeness created by patterns of conflict or the devastation created by infidelity or abuse. Conflict and disagreement are normal and healthy in a relationship; allowing mutually satisfying attachments to form. Conflict allows you to navigate differences, achieve mutually-beneficial solutions and create deeper bonds and understanding if managed effectively. However, chronic patterns of explosive arguing or distancing withdrawal can lead to resentment, loneliness, and disconnection.

 In reality, relationships need just as much, if not more, of our attention and effort to flourish as all of our other life endeavors.  However, they often become the most neglected, falling to the “backburner” of life.  Mutually satisfying, healthy romantic relationships do not develop in a vacuum and are arguably more tenuous and vulnerable to life stressors than other relationships and roles.  These relationships need the most nurturing, support and attention to survive and grow.

We use evidence-based approaches and techniques to create or restore intimacy, trust, connection, awareness and understanding – all essential building blocks of healthy relationships.  Building relational skills including communication, perspective-taking, interpersonal awareness and problem-solving will strengthen relationships; permitting them to endure the situational strains and vicissitudes of life.   Since conflict with our romantic partners can elicit intense emotional states, we also utilize contemporary, experiential approaches to
help couples manage their responses and reactions during these times when our emotions tend to take over and hijack our rational brains. Each partner in a relationship brings their individual beliefs, values, needs, histories and personalities to the equation. Some couples may have high levels of compatibility due to similarities in these areas; while others have complementary or even conflicting individual differences. We will help you identify needs profiles and learn how to move with one another rather than against one another. We will facilitate and guide you to greater levels of insight, awareness, support and caring using research supported strategies.
If you ask “happy” couples with long relationships how they endured, most will tell you that it took a lot of work, sacrifice, commitment and understanding. This is also what the research tells us. While compatibility may help, it is not a necessary condition for a satisfying relationship as Dr. William Glassner attests in his writings on Choice Theory. Relationship and marriage expert, Dr. John Gottman, informs that couples typically delay seeking professional help for their problems six years on average. At that point, so much damage and resentment has accumulated that the prognosis for repairing the relationship is much poorer. All couples have problems – there should be no shame, embarrassment or perceived weakness in advocating for your relationship. We encourage you to prioritize your relationship and get help before the wounds are too deep.

After 14 years of marriage and all of the challenges associated with raising two tenacious, spirited boys, we can personally attest that deep marital satisfaction and connection involves unprecedented amounts of commitment, communication, tolerance, patience, humility, receptivity and WORK. I still find myself grinding my teeth in annoyance as I pick up Sam’s size 13’s from the front entrance and relocate them to the closet. Sam still wants to scream when he sees the bill from my recent shopping spree but we no longer panic when confronted with these triggers because we know we have the skills and commitment to resolve these types of conflicts or we accept and tolerate them due to our ability to reframe and see the relationship in its totality. Though date nights are an urban legend for us, we have made time each night of our relationship to sit outside and process part of the day’s concerns or highlights and have gained an understanding of one another more profound than any. There is nothing like the connection and bond that forms from moving through life with a trusted partner by your side and this connection can become the bedrock of life’s journey as it has for us – allowing us to endure health scares, parenting crises, and even the premature deaths of our own parents. We are passionate about helping other couples find happiness and deeper connection in their own relationships. Whether you are truly looking to repair and strengthen your current relationship or assess and affirm your desire to move on from a toxic or unsatisfying relationship, we can provide professional support, guidance and tools to aid you in this process.